Dealing with disappointment

When it looks like God has let you down...

3rd August, 2020

Abba, I am wondering. You say You want me to have faith, to have expectations. At the same time, You want my satisfaction to be in You. Is there a balance?

If you are my satisfaction, then doesn’t that mean I don’t become too excited by the promise but then again, won’t that affect my expectation/ faith? I need help.

I never want to feel disappointed when a promise/ word does not happen when or how I think it would. Is that possible?

I know I was deliberate about not getting too emotionally invested in LSE and BSOP. Is there an element of unbelief there? In case it doesn’t happen? Help me Abba to have a heart and mind posture that pleases You. Help me to get it right. You are My satisfaction and that in itself is sufficient.

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#ThinkingOutLoud

Last year, my friends and I talked about expecting a ‘reward’ and dealing with disappointments when you don’t receive the promise when or how you were expecting it.

This was something I struggled with and I had several conversations with God about it.

One on hand the Bible talks about God being a rewarder of those who diligently serve Him and on the other hand, it talks about God being our everything. And there are other places in the Bible where rewards for walking with Him are mentioned. So it is not wrong in and of itself to expect God to reward you.

I think the problem comes when that reward does not come. What exactly is this reward and who determines in what format and when it comes?

You may have heard people who have served God all their lives being angry with God when something bad happens to them. You’ll usually hear, “But God, I have served faithfully.” Is it ok to feel entitled to a reward and be disappointed when you don’t get it? These are some questions I ask God.

And let’s move to His promises to us. Last year I began an application for another Masters and a scholarship program that God led me to do. See, every step of that process, it was clear that the hand of God was in it because I can tell you boldly that without God I won’t have passed through the first stage. The final stage (there were many, many stages) was to get the admission which, based on everything that had happened, I felt confident that God had sorted it. I didn’t get in.

Honestly, I didn’t know how to react. I wasn’t pained or disappointed like I was when I didn’t go to IE in 2019. I just wondered what was next for me.

A mentor asked me how bad I wanted to go to the school and I couldn’t answer. It wasn’t a do or die for me. I took the step because I believed God wanted me to do it as part of my career transition. I wasn’t emotionally attached to going to the school, even though it is a really prestigious university. That conversation with my mentor got me thinking again. “Abba, how emotionally invested should I be in the promise?”

I buy into what God instructs me to do but that feeling of disappointment when things don’t turn out as expected is not great. Deep down, I know there is a bigger purpose that will still be revealed - either I will go to the school some other time or the experience will help me to get into a bigger school. I don’t know which one it is just yet.

How do you deal with moments when you feel God has let you down?

Like I always say, it’s ok to ask Him questions. It’s ok to cry and feel sad. But I think there’s also a place of remembering that God is control. After you cry, you must be able to stand up and say God, “Be it unto me according to your word!”

God gives us many great promises that get us excited and if you’re like me, your mind has already started seeing pictures of that thing. Like right now, my physical body is in Nigeria but all of me is in Madrid. When I’ll get to actually travel, I don’t know.

No matter how exciting the promise or reward is (because God actually does reward us for our faithfulness and obedience in ways He deems fit), you must never forget that it is all about Him. Don’t let your disappointment take you away from Him. Instead, run to Him with your pain, discomfort and questions.

A lot of things don’t always make sense as they unfold but when you look back and see the bigger picture, you will bow in awe of God who is the Chief Strategist and Master Planner of your life.

Are you waiting on God to do something for you or have you given up on something you expected Him to do for you? I pray for a release of fresh faith into your heart today in Jesus’ name. I pray you will begin to see through God’s eyes and remember that He is a good Father who loves you.

If you feel really disappointed and you’d like to talk, let me know. I have many more stories to share that can help boost your faith!